


You and Tequila Make Me Crazy

by marvelanddestiel



Category: Rennerson - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 10:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelanddestiel/pseuds/marvelanddestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short fic written based on what I wish had happened after the Avengers Cast appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Scarlett brought the shot glass to her nose, and immediately drew back in disgust. Tequila. Robert had bought the entire group shots after their fun night on Jimmy Kimmel Live. She set the glass down, reaching for the vodka soda she’d ordered for herself instead. She twirled the glass around and around in her palm, delaying taking a sip. She turned around to see what her cast mates were doing, and they were all standing on the small dance floor of the secluded bar Chris chose, laughing and downing shot after shot. She smirked, swiveling back around on her barstool.

 

Jeremy downed a second shot of tequila, enjoying the feeling of the alcohol coursing through his veins. He turned to make his way towards the server for a third shot, but felt Mark grab his shoulder and pull him back. He swiveled Jeremy around to face the back bar. Mark pointed towards the bar. Jeremy rested his eyes on Scarlett, sitting alone at the bar moving her drink back and forth across the bar top, her tequila shot untouched. She appeared glum and bored.

“Is she okay?” Mark finally asked him, and Jeremy turned to him, surprised.

“How would I know? You’ve spoken to her way more than I have.” A tone of jealousy laced his words, and Jeremy cursed in his head. Damn tequila making him brave and green with envy.

Mark scowled at Jeremy. “You’re joking, right?” Jeremy shrugged in response.

“Oh come on, Jeremy. You two were inseparable. What the hell happened to you two? You’ve barely spoken except when you have to.” Jeremy shrugged again, snatching the full glass of tequila from Mark’s hand, downing it in one gulp.

“Nothing happened.” He replied as nonchalantly as he could.

Chris came up behind the pair, slapping a hand on each of their shoulders. “Dude, what’s up with Scar?” Jeremy groaned. “Go talk to her.” He pushed Jeremy a step forward. Jeremy whirled around, clearly annoyed now.

“Okay, can you people please explain to me why you think _I_ should talk to her?”

They all stared at him blankly. He threw his hands up in defeat. “Alright! I’ll be right back.”

 

“Hiya, Hot Sauce.” Scarlett chuckled haughtily.

“I haven’t been called that in forever.”

Jeremy sat down on a stool next to her, swiveling it to face her. “Yeah well, you haven’t really had anyone around to call you that.”

She finally looked up at him, her green eyes flickering with regret and guilt.

“Jeremy-“

He held up a hand. “It’s okay.”

She sighed loudly. “No, it’s not. It’s not okay at all. I’m sorry it’s been so long since you and I have just talked. Things feel…awkward.” She admitted.

“Our lives are very different now. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to hear from you. From my best friend.” Jeremy replied calmly.

“I know, okay? I know. But after what happened between us the last time we saw each other-“ She cut herself off, her face getting hot. Jeremy sighed, reaching for her shot of tequila, and held it out to her.

“Let’s not talk about any of that. Let’s drink, and have fun. Don’t be a Debbie downer, darling.” She laughed.

“That was quite a mouthful.”

“Betcha can’t say that three times fast.” She laughed again, taking the shot from him, and downed it in one sip.

“There’s the Scarlett I know and love!” Jeremy exclaimed, and immediately drew back, realizing what he’d said. Both of their faces turned beet red.

“Let’s order another round, shall we?” He decided to offer. She grinned, nodding in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jesus those two are piss drunk.” Mark commented, eyeing Jeremy and Scarlett dancing terribly on the dance floor laughing hysterically and singing along to the current song playing, to which they assumed they were singing horribly and off-key.

“I think it’s about time to call it a night.” Chris agreed, making his way over to the intoxicated pair.

“Hey guys, we’re going to head home. We’ll let your drivers know you’re leaving.” They giggled, bobbing their heads in response to Chris.

“Okay kids, let’s go.” Robert took hold of Scarlett’s arm, and Chris Hemsworth grabbed Jeremy’s, and helped them outside and to the curb, where their cars were waiting. Robert began to help Scarlett into her car, but she climbed down, running down the sidewalk to Jeremy.

“Wait! I wanna go with Jeremy!” Robert shrugged, and helped her into his car.

“Behave yourself, Renner. She’s married now.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, I’ll just let her pass out in my guest room.” He climbed into the car after her.

 

Scarlett giggled as Jeremy fumbled for the keys to unlock his front door.

“It’s been forever since I’ve been here.” She slurred, grinning at him. He grinned back at her, finally unlocking the front door. She skipped inside, bounding up the stairs to his bedroom. He shut the front door, and followed her upstairs, where she had started rifling through his dressers. She yanked out a grey t-shirt with “Modesto Junior College” printed across the front.

“You still have my favorite shirt!” She grinned.

She began to strip her black dress off, and he averted his eyes out of respect for her and her husband. She pulled the shirt over her head, her blonde hair now wild and messy.

“It still looks amazing on you.” He commented, and she blushed.

She flopped down onto his bed, burying her face into the navy duvet. He loosened his tie and removed his suit jacket, tossing them both into the large walk-in closet to his left. He flopped down next to her on the bed, smiling contentedly at her.

“You wanna know a secret?” She asked him playfully, her words still slurred.

“Okay.” He laughed.

“Rose is yours.”

Jeremy felt the color from his face drain, and all of the alcohol he’d had in his system suddenly disintegrated. He was stone cold sober. _She has to be joking. This is a joke._

“Scarlett-“ He managed to choke out, but when he looked up at her, she was clutching his pillow, snoring soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremy didn’t even sleep for a second. He laid next to her on top of the covers, watching her snore in a drunken stupor next to him, wondering what the hell had transpired a few hours before. Was it even possible? Could he _actually_ be Rose’s father? He calculated how long it’d been since he’d seen Scarlett last, and a large pit settled in his stomach. It was definitely possible. He flipped over, facing away from her and staring at the alarm clock that now read 6:02 am. He hated that he remembered she only snores when she’s drunk. He hated that he remembered her favorite t-shirt of his is the grey one with his junior college printed across the front. He hated her for not speaking to him up until now after their fling ended abruptly. He hated that she didn’t call after he and Sonni divorced. Hell, she hadn’t called when they got married, either. He especially hated her for marrying Romain. _Romain. What kind of lame name is that?_ Most of all, he hated that he didn’t really hate her at all. She was infuriating like that.

 

It was 9:00 am when she finally woke, pressing her palm to her forehead and groaning. She sat up, glancing around her, taking in her surroundings. Jeremy was tapping away noisily on his MacBook across the room at his desk.

“Jeremy, what the hell happened last night? Did we-“ She cut herself off and gulped.

He turned around, and shook his head.

“No, we didn’t. We got drunk and came back here to crash. You said something very revealing to me last night, though.”

She gave him a confused expression, genuinely not knowing what she could have said to him.

“’Rose is yours’ doesn’t ring a bell?” He frowned.

Her face turned pale and she suddenly felt like she was going to be sick, but not from her hangover.

“I-I said that to you?” She stuttered.

He nodded, leaving his desk to join her on the bed.

“Is it true, Scarlett? Tell me the truth, please.”

She was silent for a few moments, staring down at her hands. She finally looked up at him and nodded, tears clouding her green eyes. Jeremy ran a hand across his face.

“What the hell. Do you know this for sure? Please explain this to me.” She sighed.

“I had suspicion when I found out that I was pregnant, okay? I wasn’t sure. I was too scared to get a paternity test, so I just let Romain believe she’s his. About a month ago I knew you and I would be seeing each other soon, and I knew when I saw you I’d have to know for sure. I decided to have one done behind Romain’s back. I’ve known about the results for a month now. She’s yours, Jeremy.” A tear trickled down her face.

“You’ve known about the results for _a month?_ A whole _month_ and you said nothing? You should have said something from the beginning when you were unsure!” He was enraged now.

“Jeremy, I’m sorry, I was scared. I’m so sorry-“

“I think you should go.”

She stared at him in surprise, hurt painted across her face.

He softened, and breathed, “I just need some time to think about it, okay?”

She nodded, climbing out of his bed to gather her black dress from the floor.

 

After Scarlett left, Jeremy sat on his bed reeling for what felt like hours. What the hell was he going to do? What was he going to tell people? Was Rose just suddenly his daughter now? None of it made sense. Sonni would kill him and try to take Ava from him if she knew he’d had a baby with Scarlett too. When they were married, she accused him multiple times of still being in love with her, even though they hadn’t talked in months. It was one of the many reasons he and Sonni had gotten divorced. He fought long and hard to have shared custody of Ava. He definitely didn’t want to go through that again with Scarlett and Rose. He finally stood from the bed, returning to his desk where he opened his MacBook. He opened Google, and typed in Scarlett’s name as well as Rose’s into the image search bar. A photo of Rose popped up, and he clicked on it, zooming in. He didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before, but there was no mistaking it. She had his nose and his dark blue eyes. _I’m Googling my own daughter right now._ He felt like such an idiot. _I have gotta stop having kids out of wedlock._ He groaned, returning to his bed, to retrieve his iPhone from the bedside table. This was _Scarlett_. He knew he loved her with all his heart. He couldn’t let her go through this alone any longer.


	4. Chapter 4

Scarlett clambered across the threshold, tossing her heels and dress into the corner of the doorway.

“Where the hell have you been? Were you out all night?” Romain came bounding into the foyer, his eyebrows rising in disapproval.

Scarlett bit her bottom lip, trying to hold back her sobs. She had cried the entire way home. She mustered up enough strength to look at him, and she shrugged.

“I guess I was. I didn’t mean to drink so much.” She tried to push past him, but he pushed her back lightly, staring at her attire.

“Modesto Junior College?” He questioned.

She looked down, realizing she was still wearing Jeremy’s shirt, no pants, and no shoes. “Oh, Jeremy lent it to me-“

“Jeremy? You stayed the night with _Jeremy_?”

She groaned. “I got too drunk so he took me home and put me to bed. That’s it. Nothing happened, for Christ’s sake. Who do you think I am?” She scoffed.

Romain crossed his arms, unconvinced. “You used to be in love with him, and you’re staying the night at his house?”

Scarlett sighed, choosing to walk away and ignore his question. Rose began wailing from somewhere upstairs, and she started towards the stairs to go tend to her.

“Your daughter is crying, remember her? She needed her mother last night, but her mother was out getting wasted and sleeping over with her old boyfriend.” Romain spat.

Scarlett whirled around to face him, her face getting heated with anger. “Okay, that’s not fair at all. You knew me being on Jimmy Kimmel was going to run late last night. And there is nothing between Jeremy and I!” She pushed past her husband again and bounded up the stairs, going into Rose’s room and slamming the door shut.

She picked her daughter up and cradled her in her arms. From downstairs, she heard what sounded like Romain opening the closet. He retrieved his jacket, opened the front door, and slammed it behind him. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears clouding them once more. She tried to focus on Rose to make herself calm down, but seeing Rose and just how much she looked like Jeremy made her more upset.

 

Jeremy knocked on Scarlett’s front door, and waited a few seconds after no answer before knocking again.

“Scar?” He called, but again no answer.

He tried the knob, and was surprised to find it open. He entered the house, walking into the living room to find her sitting on the floor, sobbing hysterically. A baby was crying from somewhere upstairs. He ran over to her, bending down to her level.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

She sniffled and hiccuped loudly. “Romain walked out. We had a fight.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No. But he’s angry at me for staying with you last night, and Rose won’t stop crying-“

“Hey, hey. Calm down. I’ll go get her. You just breathe, okay?”

She nodded haphazardly at him, and he kissed the top of her head before running up the stairs to Rose. He entered her nursery, approaching the screaming infant in her crib. He lifted her into his arms, rocking her back and forth.

“Hey, sweet girl. Stop crying. Stop crying for your mommy. And for me, I guess. I guess I’m your daddy. I’m your daddy, baby girl.”

“You’re amazing with her. She likes you.” Scarlett appeared in the doorway, smiling softly at him.

“Well, I’d hope so, considering I’m her father.”

“I know we need to talk about this.” Jeremy looked down at Rose in his arms, and then at Scarlett again.

“Yes, we do. I want her, Scar. Don’t keep me from her.”

“I would never keep you from her, Jeremy.”

”Can we even change the father’s name on her birth certificate? Can her last name be changed? Are these things that can happen legally?”

Scarlett sighed. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to have her last name changed, but it’s going to be hell trying to get your name on the birth certificate. More than likely you’ll have to take a paternity test. I’m sure Romain won’t be too happy and will probably try to take us to court after I tell him.”

Jeremy looked worried. “Is that something he can even do? He has no rights to her now. I’m Rose’s father.”

“Yes, but his name is on her birth certificate.”

Jeremy groaned. “Sonni is going to straight up murder me in my sleep when she finds out. And probably try to take me back to court for full custody of Ava.” He hung his head in defeat.

“Hey. You don’t know that. You have rights to her too, Jeremy. Your name is actually on Ava’s certificate. Somehow I doubt she’ll want to go through a grueling custody battle again.” Scarlett placed a hand comfortingly on his arm. He sighed, handing Rose to Scarlett.

“Well, we better get started.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sonni threw a vase across the room, nearly missing his head when he told her.

“Jesus fuck Jeremy, how many other people do you have children with?” She’d screamed at him.

He chose to ignore her snide comment.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it all along. You only got so defensive with me over her because it’s true! You’re ridiculously in love with her and now you have a child with her! Perfect.”

He stayed silent again, not bothering to defend himself. She had been right all along.

“How are we going to explain this to Ava when she’s older? What the hell are we supposed to do about this?” Sonni crossed her arms.

“We’re going to keep our custody agreement, and Ava will get to spend time with me, Scarlett, and Rose.”

“Ha! That’s hilarious if you think I’d let Ava anywhere near those two.” Sonni laughed hatefully.

“You know damn well that’s not fair. Ava is my daughter too, and so is Rose. They’re _sisters_. She deserves to get to be a part of her life.”

Sonni considered it for a moment, at last releasing the tension from her face.

“Fine. _Fine_. But if I see something I don’t like it’s over. Ava will be staying with me permanently.”

“Fine.” He agreed.

 

Scarlett’s face was still stinging, and her arms were getting tired from balancing Rose on her hip. She was down at the police station, filing charges against Romain. After she told him he was not in fact Rose’s father, he had slapped her clean across the face. She brought her free hand to her cheek, cringing when she pressed down on it. That was going to leave a nasty bruise. She continuously brushed stray tears from her face, wondering why the hell she had ever agreed to marry such a monstrous man in the first place. If she had just told Jeremy when she found out she was pregnant that there was a possibility he was the father, all of this could have been avoided. She sighed, cursing in her head. No more of this. She had to stop blaming herself. She’d been scared, but not anymore. She was finally going to be rid of Romain, and Rose would be with a father who would love her, and keep them safe.

 

When Jeremy took a look at the prominent bruise on Scarlett’s face, he punched a hole into the wall of his apartment.

“How _dare_ he lay a hand on you? Where is he, I’m going to kill him-“ He was reaching for his car keys, when Scarlett snatched them out of his hand.

“Jeremy, no! I’ve already gone down to the police station and filed charges against him. It won’t do anyone any good if you try to go after him.”

“He’s not getting away with this. _No one_ does this to you. _No one_.”

She grabbed his arm, squeezing it. “He’s not going to, Jeremy. The police are probably already on their way to arrest him now. I don’t want you in a jail cell too. Rose needs you. I need you.”

Jeremy let out a deep breath, and nodded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s get you some ice.”

 

Jeremy and Scarlett sat on Jeremy’s couch in silence for what felt like hours, her head resting on his shoulder, and his arm swung around her. Rose was fast asleep in her father’s lap. Jeremy looked down at the sleeping infant, smiling softly and sadly to himself.

“I wish I had been there for you. Through everything. I wish I had known.”

“I know, Jer. I’m sorry. But you’re here now.”

He placed a kiss on Scarlett’s forehead.

“Yes, I am.”


	6. Chapter 6

It took several long, grueling months, but Jeremy was finally named Rose’s father on her birth certificate, and she became Rose Renner. Scarlett had annulled her marriage from Romain shortly after his arrest. It was six months later, and Scarlett was grinning as she watched Jeremy swing their daughter around in his arms, her squealing and laughing the entire time. 

It reminded her the moment she and Romain’s annulment had been approved, Jeremy had grabbed her face and planted the most passionate kiss on her lips, and had murmured, “I am so in love with you, it’s ridiculous.” 

She stared down at her left hand, the engagement ring flashing brightly on her ring finger. When they told their cast mates they were engaged after being back together for less than a year, she expected them to tell them they were making a huge mistake. Instead they’d all laughed, and said exuberantly, “It’s about time!” 

 

“A drink for you, Madam?” 

“No, thank you.” Scarlett waved the waiter away when he tried to fill her champagne glass, and her cast mates looked at her suspiciously. 

She and her cast mates were at a huge charity dinner sponsored by Marvel, with a third Avengers movie in the works. Ava was now four, and Rose was almost three. She and Jeremy had been husband and wife for over a year. 

Robert looked at her expectantly, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Scarlett Johansson-Renner, please explain to me why you’re not having a drink? You can’t be lame like you were for the last Avengers movie!” He exclaimed. 

She groaned. “I was pregnant during the last movie!” She retorted. 

“It’s not like you are now!” Chris snorted. 

Scarlett said nothing, staring down at the white cloth napkin draped across her lap. 

Robert let out a guffaw. 

“Oh my word. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” 

Jeremy whipped his head around to face his wife, and she smiled sheepishly. 

“I was going to tell you, but Robert just blew it-“ 

“You’re pregnant?” He asked his wife, his blue eyes widening. 

She nodded, smiling sweetly at him. He grinned, reaching to kiss her. 

“Sweetheart, that’s wonderful!” 

“Jesus Renner, keep it in your pants would ya?” 

He rolled his eyes. “At least we’re married now.” He shrugged. 

Mark picked up his champagne glass, and the rest did as well. Scarlett lifted her water glass. 

“To Scarlett and Jeremy and their ten future kids!” 

Everyone snorted with laughter, and Scarlett swatted Mark’s arm, but laughed as well. They clinked their glasses, and she reached over to kiss her husband.


End file.
